aa urm aa urm... ok!

::To every disadvantage there is a corresponding advantage.::

fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me... fool me thousand times after that? what does that make me?

i keep telling myself that last one will be the last time anybody will ever take advantage of me. and i've been telling myself that for as long as i can remember. it still sucks, and it still hurts.

sometimes i wish i had the balls (not literally though) to say no without feeling any remorse later on. sometimes i wish i can speak up without fear of retaliation. sometimes i wish that i didn't really care whether or not i'm stepping on someone else's toes. sometimes i wish i speak only for myself.

maybe i'm scared that i will be left alone. that nobody would stand by me and the things i said. or maybe i'm scared to show the bitter side of me. i don't like being mad or angry at someone either. but if push come to shove, you'll be sure to regret it. and ultimately i will too.

please ask somebody else to do your job. and don't think nice is all i can be.

ok chiow.

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Home, elusive home

::Home is where the heart is, so your real home's in your chest.::

Home, elusive home

apparently there's a lot of ppl out there who share the same sentiment as me. that's somewhat a relief.

putting off buying a home for a year would make the price goes up by at least RM100k. gilo apo kalau aku businessman pun belum tentu dpt kumpul duit sebanyak tu. apetah lagi makan gaji, yg bonus pun nan hado. face it: houses are priced ridiculously high. of course property owners are jumping on the bandwagon too. easy money meh. beli rumah 230k, tunggu setahun, jual 350k. so the rich is getting richer. the middle is getting poorer. the poor will always remain poor. mcm quantum leap punya graf (agaknya, apa aku mengarut ni).

whatever it is, yg aku hangin, ko letak la rumah harga 1M for a 2-sty terrace, still ada org beli huwaa crazy ppl. how can 1st-time employee ever be a 1st-time homeowner with 1st (basic) salary? nak beli rumah pun kena tgk area jugak. kalau sume org beli rumah yg 100km jauh dari tpt kerja, yg mmg kerja dekat tpt yg org 100km jauhnya beli rumah kat situ nak beli rumah kat mana pulak?

so don't blame me for not really caring about belanjawan. for me it only means one thing: you have to pay rm1 for what you paid rm0.70 before.

or maybe i'm just plain ignorant.

ok chiow.

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s-s-s-mokin'!

::Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol, morphine or idealism.::

pagi tadi ada satu pakcik ni yg baru lepas turun dari komuter, nak berjalan ke tempat kerja, nyala rokok dia. mungkin sempat la kot sedut sekali, pastu time nak hayun tangan (which reminded me of a question asked by a radio dj a long time ago: kenapa org jalan hayun tangan? and a caller answered: sbb pakai baju and seluar.), rokok tu terlepas dari tangan dia. rokok tu pun jatuh atas jalan... lalu pakcik itu ambil balik rokok tu (by that time aku pun dah ke depan dari pakcik tu, ye la xkan aku nak stop sekali kot), dengar dia tiup "fuh! fuh!". bila sampai kat satu tempat yg aku boleh tgk reflection aku dan org2 belakang aku, aku tgk dia tgh hisap rokok.

tu dia aihhh rokok dah jatuh pun boleh kutip dan hisap balik tuu. heheh ye la kan sekarang rokok dah mahal, rugi sebatang, rugi +-50sen.

mungkin org boleh ckp lantak ah bukan duit ko pun (haha aku pun selalu gunakan ayat ni to justify buying out-of-ordinary things), but when it comes to smoking, it involves somebody else. be it the smoke that everybody around you inhales, the ozone thinning, the smell when you talk, etc., it always involves somebody else. so in a way that affected somebody else is entitled to say sth about that, right?

bapak aku dulu heavy smoker. tapi it never affected me since lahir2 je itu la bapak aku (and everything else that comes along with it). but after being away from him for a while (for me it's 2 years), i realized how 'different' a smoker is compared to a non-smoker. and how 'nice' a non-smoker's house is compared to a smoker's house (mak aku ckp kesan kotor kat dinding rumah tu akibat asap rokok... mungkin betul kot). tapi sekarang dah berhenti dah. i can't really say how quitting smoking can give benefit you (sbb kdg2 aku rasa bapak aku sama je mcm dulu), but it's comforting in a way to know that your dad didn't spend his money on cigarettes... baik la bawak gi jalan2 kan hehe.

anyway i... digress? more like babble.

ok chiow.

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