have faith

::There are many roads to hate, but envy is the shortest of them all.::

i tried to post a new entry without looking at other ppl's entries... hmmph. ended up looking at a few fvf's blogs, before deciding on one topic. where's my muse when i need one?

which brings me to this: envy.

i sometimes envy ppl who have interesting, mention-worthy moments in their lives. or a mundane activity beautifully redefined by the wordings. do i feel motivated by their experience? hell yeah. but somehow it won't materialize. x cukup duit la, xde teman la, xde masa la.... mcm2 lagi la xde. a funny thing actually, considering everyone has 24 hours, and i happen to have one of those jobs where you can't bring your work home. sulit la katakan... so what's the holdup?

because somehow i think i always carry this some sort of burden around. it didn't matter much before, but eventually this burden is eating me inside out. so much i begin to blame everything on this so-called burden. when i have no other things to worry about, by default my mind would wander around this thing, weighing, arguing, agreeing, regretting, etc.

i know i make no sense, but i'm not in a position to reveal anything. too many uncertainties.

so now you know why i envy other ppl around me. because i'm sure they don't have to carry the same burden i do.

i'm just praying that everything will be alright. but even that i'm doing it halfheartedly, since there is no way everything's gonna be alright.

ramadhan mubarak.