bencinta

::We only got 86 400 seconds in a day
To turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell ‘em that we love ‘em while we got the chance to say,
Gotta live like we’re dying::

if i were to live like i'm dying, i won't bother with the assignments. mcm leh pakai pun cert kat alam barzakh... hehe. so kris allen, shut up!

aku rasa aku 1st time dgr org ckp, "mmg bercinta betullah" bila buat sesuatu (in this case, assignment). maybe pernah kot dgr before this, tapi x rasa benda tu pelik. haha in a way betullah kot, dah 24/7 ngadap benda tu je, bercinta dgn kertas2 tu je la kan. is it one-sided tho? err susah mau jawab heheh.

tapi yg sebenar2nya, boleh je siap cepat, tapi nak siap cepat tu hanya boleh dicapai sehari sebelum due date. so sekarang mmg tahap bermalas2an lagi. cuma guilty conscience tu agak kuat bila time yg sepatutnya habiskan assignment tu ko buat kerja lain. but in the end, you still do the not-assignment stuff. membazir perasaan jek.

still searching for my element. tabley tahan laa tgk org lain enjoy sana-sini, aku lak nak kena buat assignment and study for the exam. ada ke buat time org cuti krismas, new year... gilo apo. nak gi jln2 kenduri kawin pun x senang. x senang as in hati x tenteram gi jln2 tapi kerja x siap.

haha tapi dlm pada nak mencapai objektif "to focus on my classes and my classes alone", sempat gak aku gi sunway lagoon (14-year wish okay), karaoke, warehouse sale, main frozen throne, avenue flo, etc. x senonoh...

mcm tak sabar nak habis exam, tapi tak nak exam lagi.

ok chiow.

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edisi marah diri sendiri

pagi tadi terlambat keluar rumah. tapi nasib baik dpt tpt duduk, so release tension dgn tido. sampai midvalley dah tersedar sbb akak sebelah nak keluar, so amik alih tpt duduk dia pulak. pastu mcm on off siket, sampai lepas kl sentral. bajet mcm sempat la nak kejar 815 (kena prepare mental dulu, sbb nak kena jln laju). sampai2 je terus aku ke pintu, terus keluar, naik escalator pun mcm naik tangga.

masuk2 lif, tgk jam aaa dah 815. merah le hari nih. tapi xpe, life must go on.

around 10, aku mcm teringat pasal assignments yg berlambak x buat lagi. pastu berazam nak try cari additional materials. eh? additional? meaning aku dah ada sth to start with la kan? tapi mana?

masa tu baru aku sedar, TERTINGGAL PAPERBAG YG ADA TELEKUNG N SOME NOTES KAT DLM TREN!!!!

aaaaa geramnya rasaaaa

cepat2 cite kat k syud, pastu k syud cuba menenangkan, ckp "ntah2 tertinggal dlm keta kot, mmg x bawak kot." i was like, "xde, mmg kita ingat ada pegang masa masuk komuterrrr." then cepat2 call ktmb, pastu call another number. tapi mmg mcm lost cause la, sbb encik yg jawab tu aku ckp je tertinggal barang kat komuter, dia terus "susah tu." ada la tanya tren kul berapa ("laa ni dah pukul 10 ni..."). come to think of it, itu je soalan yg dia tanya. oh and sapa nama. aku yg volunteer cite dlm paperbag kaler merah, dlm tu ada telekung n a few documents (dia x tanya pun penting ke x docs tu... cet). pastu mcm nak cepat hang up je, sbb xde tanya pun phone num aku. aku gak yg bgtau, "kalau ada apa2, boleh x call saya di xxxxxxxx".

aaa geramnya. how could that happen?? have it happened before? is there any chance that somewhere i left something else behind? and what are the chances of it happening again?

balasan kot, byk buat dosa nih. argh.

kalau jumpa balik mmg miracle betul.

ok chiow.

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the paradox of expectations

::Two paradoxes are better than one; they may even suggest a solution.::

there are times when i think that the world (okay, exaggeration, the entertainment industry) has become too predictable. or am i too genius for the world? err nak gi mana kalau mcm tu?

pernah masa form 2, masa tu kitorg tgh nak tgk some performance by the students. ada satu tu seingat aku ada org main piano, pastu the penyanyi in the middle of the song akan keluar dr backstage (i.e behind the curtain) and nyanyi. the piano was at the right side of the stage. ada kawan aku sorg dah tgk the rehearsal, so dia pun tanya aku, "ko agak2 budak yg nyanyi tu keluar dr mana? dr belah kiri ke dari kanan?" "kiri." "alaa mcm mana ko tau..."

you see, it involved some thinking and theorizing. i don't remember why, tapi mcm the norm at that time ialah bunyi akan dtg dari arah piano tu. so normally budak tu akan keluar dari belah kanan la. tapi disbbkan aku tau kawan aku xkan tanya tanpa sebab (i mean, kalau jawapan dia biasa2 je, xkan org nak tanya kan?), so i chose the unexpected thing, and said kiri. agak bangga jugak la tgk muka dia x puas hati sbb aku dpt jawab (pdhal 50-50 chances nak dpt betul hehe).

the thing is, if you always expect the unexpected, the unexpected becomes expected.

mcm movies / series / dramas / books jugak la. ppl always want to be different, always want to present the difference, always nak jadi lain dr yg lain, last2 org akan expect the so-called difference jugak. kdg2 bila start satu movie, bila aku rasa apsal mcm pernah tgk je movie dgn jln cerita mcm ni, aku akan pay extra attention to every little detail, so belum apa2 lagi dah boleh agak who killed who, who did what, etc.

perasan x hingat entry ni.. haha. kadang2 je kot.

penat la bila selalu tau the ending before the ending. it robs you of the entertaining factor. tapi cerita yg sgt straightfwd pun x best jugak. ataupun cite yg byk sgt throw baits here and there, tapi x contribute apa2 to the story (ada satu buku cite aku baca, asyik2 ckp watak utama tu kejap2 makan ubat, kejap2 picit kepala, kejap2 org risau tgk dia muka berkerut, tapi last2 xde kena mengena dgn apa2 pun dlm cerita itu). x pun, the makers nak sgt buat satu cite yg xde org boleh expect, in the end it doesn't make any sense at all. or are we supposed to enjoy the journey of getting to the end instead of the end result itself?

yup, we humans are insatiable indeed.

err x bagus pun selalu buat perkara2 lagha ni...

ok chiow.

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