hidden agenda

::I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.::

the thing i noticed about my father: everybody from kangar is most probably his relatives. i gave up long ago trying to figure out the branches forming the family tree, or finding the answer to why i have 2 pak longs from my father's side. and that's just paklong. just two words from my father: "sedara abah" and you're guaranteed a family treatment from us (or at least fr my parents laa, aku nak warm up to strangers ni makan berhari2). no questions asked.

so ada la satu mlm ni ada sedara aku nak dtg. aku rasa bapak aku ada explain how they're related, but somehow it's too complicated for me. mak aku ada ckp dulu dia dtg jual ubat apetah. pelik gak, apsal aku x tau pun kewujudan sedara yg satu ini. even parents aku pun x sure dia dah kawin lain ke, cerai pastu kawin lain ke, etc.

bila jumpa ni semangat la bapak aku nak bukak cite lama kan, tapi makcik ni mcm asyik nak cite pengalaman dia accident. i was like, you're visiting my father, and you're telling us your story? assuming she heard about my father's bypass surgery lah kan. even masa bapak aku semangat cite pasal adik aku keluar magazine, masuk tv sume, dia akan cerita balik pasal pengalamannya itu. hmmm fishy.

thennn the moment came. the moment when she said she drank sth and gradually she felt better. not, not sth. straight to the point she mentioned the name/brand of the drink. somehow aku rasa weird bila org sebut sesuatu yg jarang digunakan dlm perbualan, like "lepas tu saya pun hari2 la minum XXXX nih. asal pagi je minum XXXX. untung jugak ada XXXX". unless it's a hugely popular brand la, mcm milo, maggi, pampers. etc. then and there i knew she was up to sth. and i'm 99% sure knowing my ever so considerate parents would fall for this.

surely enough, esok paginya aku nampak tin minuman tu atas meja. bila tanya2, siap jadik downline sekali.

i'm not sure what pisses me off more: the fact that seorg sedara yg jarang gila nampak muka sanggup jumpa semata2 nak tambah rezeki dia, or the fact that aku pernah cuba utk pujuk mak aku beli benda yg sama tapi dgn mudahnya mak aku menolak dgn alasan benda tu mungkin tipu, tapi dgn makcik ni xde tunjuk bukti apa pun boleh bayar.

tgk je la nnt, lagi 2-3 tahun dia akan call ckp nak jumpa, bawak benda lain pulak.

man i have issues.

ok chiow.

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no man's land

::When men are scared of a woman, they always accuse her of being mannish.::
yeah finally. you have no idea how refreshing it is to not have to smell other people's sweat early in the morning. or how carefree you feel when you don't have to worry that much about who's standing next to you or who's behind you.

tapi still ada jugak yg mmg x faham bahasa. literally. well either that or diorg mmg ignorant gila. pastu terpaksa la yg prihatin tegur diorg suh pindah ke koc lain. nak suh cat koc tu kaler pink ke baru nampak... apetah. belum campur yg menggatal nak duk gak dgn budak2 pompuan pastu buat kecoh konon bagus.

haritu ada this african-american guy mengamuk pasal ada sorg pompuan tu asyik tunjuk2 kat dia. sampai mencarut2 marahkan pompuan tu. antara yg dia ckp, "why do you keep pointing at me? that's rude, you know. is it because i'm black?" pdhal minah tu bengang kat dia sbb dia duduk kat ladies' coach je. allo, kalau nak rasa racial discrimination gi US la wei. mcm bagus je jerit2 kat pompuan. pastu ckp sign utk ladies tu xde. ko pakai spek itam dlm tren, mmg le x nampak. err tapi aku pun x perasan sgt la sejauh mana pompuan tu buat sampai mamat tu terasa kan. apa2 pun, kalau dia x masuk koc tu and patuh arahan, xde problem punya.


taken from the website:

10. Apakah yang boleh dilakukan jika terdapat penumpang lelaki menaiki Koc Wanita ini?
Kerjasama semua pihak amat kami perlukan. Dengan cara yang berhemah, anda perlu memaklumkan dan meminta penumpang lelaki tersebut menaiki koc biasa.
Jika pintu tren telah tertutup dan tren bergerak, penumpang lelaki tersebut boleh turun dan berpindah ke koc biasa di stesen berikutnya.

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bersama2lah kita kaum hawa menegur yg x sepatutnya berada kat situ... haha

ok chiow.

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comeuppance

::Where we have strong emotions, we're liable to fool ourselves.::

ever heard of the songs often played at rtm back in the days? "jangan-jangan terlalu suka, suka-suka akibatnya duka." i always thought that as nonsense, i mean how can being overly happy/+ve about something can bring you down?

but now i'm feeling it. and it sucks.

last week i was in a relatively good mood (most probably because ip day is over), having laughs with other ppl. even kalau duk sorg2 pun i'd be amused by little things. sampaikan terfikir jugak, apsal aku happy semcm ni? ada apa2 ke?

and then monday came.

nothing happened really, but somehow all my -ve thoughts about everything suddenly decided to manifest themselves. sume benda aku tgk akan membuatkan aku rasa bengang. tiba2 aku rasa x puas hati dgn semua orang. ditambah pulak dgn kesilapan2 yg aku sendiri buat yg mungkin menyusahkan org lain... aa tension betul.

maybe the song is true.

ok chiow.

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oh man oh man oh man

ingatkan nak tunggu sampai my days as the ip day secretariat are over baru nak berkecimpung kembali di sini, tapi mcm lambat lagi je. and this is so worth it i can hardly wait.

back in 2005/06, there's this game called indigo prophecy. it's truly one of a kind, at least back then and at least for me. it's like being in a movie, where you played the hero/psycho in search of the truth. the gameplay was intense, ada certain times mmg x sempat nak digest what's happening sbb nak figure out how to control the character. mmg time aku main adik aku jerit2 bg sokongan moral, time dia main aku pulak jerit2 bg sokongan moral. walaupun the ending was a bit blergh, but the joy n thrill i felt throughout was ish x tau nak kata. maybe by now there's hundreds of games using the same MO, engine, storyline, etc. but like ppl said, the 1st cut is the deepest hehe.

now since there's no more new games for xbox, let's just say the one we have here (which btw was my older bros' before he bought the awesome x360) is just sitting there collecting fur and dust. boleh je main balik kan, tapi bila dah main x360, pastu nak main balik xbox mcm... buruk gila gambar (haha lupa daratan betul). pulak tu x syok aa main game yg dah dihabiskan. itu pun aku ada buat dah masa cuti kejap dulu.

anyway just now i saw in the paper a review on the game heavy rain. bila baca quantic dream, aku dah terfikir dah, apsal mcm familiar je nama tu. baca siket lagi, rupa2nya quantic dream is the maker of indigo prophecy, and heavy rain is their latest game! i don't need to read beyond the quote/snippet (where they usually put it in a bigger font than the rest) to know that this game is awesomeeee. cuma satu je problem: it's being released for PS3. only. ceh kalau ada utk x360 boleh gak aku tumpang kat abang aku je.

sekarang ni aku tgh rasa a bit off sbb i'm dying to know what the game offers, tapi aku takut kalau aku baca aku jadi sedih sbb xleh nak main sekarang. and obviously to play it, i have to buy ps3 1st. tapi mahal laa mana nak mampu nak beli. err actually rasa mampu je nak beli, tapi nnt takut menyesal habiskan byk duit utk benda lagha. tapi nak mainn... tgk dah tertekan dah ni.

i seriously need to reevaluate my wants and needs.

but 1st, finish my final sem 1st. and with flying colors kalau boleh. x dpt scroll kang naya je.

ops almost forgot. induksi is around the corner woohoo! alhamdulillah moga2 x ditangguh lagi. tapi nak exam tu yg payah tu. semoga dpt sah cepat amiin.

ok chiow.

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