the world is not enough

::Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.::

haritu cousin aku k aida ajak gi water rafting kat kuala kubu baru (kkb) end of december. mmg excited la nak gi, sbb dah lama dah x gi rafting, n dgn org2 yg dikenali (geng masa gi camping dulu). k aida suh ajak adik aku, sbb adik aku pun bukannya ada kerja apa2. then ada this one night tgh tgk tv, ada tunjuk this one channel [v] vj gi rafting kat kkb. siap ada tunggang terbalik sume, pastu aku dgn excitednya cite kat adik aku, sambil nak ajak sekali la ni. tiba2 mak aku yg tgh tgk cite tu, bising ckp bahaya la, musim hujan la.

lepas2 tu aku try lak tanya bapak aku. heh ni lagi la. siap marah2 sume jgn kasik mak bapak risau la, kang apa2 jadi susah la. last2 mmg give up terus. mmg maleh nak pujuk2 sume dah. err sbb time tu rasa mcm nak nangis kot heheh.

time2 ni la aku teringat balik kenangan silam (err mcm tua dah je) masa kat U dulu. dulu main redah je sume. tah, sbb jauh dr parents kot, so aku rasa mcm 'free' siket aa. 1st summer dulu, aku plan nak ikut seniors gi road trip. mlm nak gi tu baru aku email bapak aku (dah la email tu aku yg buatkan sume, aku rasa bapak aku x tau pun password email tu), n didn't even make a phone call telling them about it. sure enough, ada sekali tu kat mana tah aku guna public phone call rumah, mmg kena marah (more like teguran bernada laju n tinggi) dr mak aku, n teguran yg bernada slow dan perlahan dr bapak aku.

tapi time tu aku x rasa apa2 pun. maybe sbb best gi jln2. ye la, tgk tpt org, sapa x seronok. tapi lepas2 tu everytime aku nak gi road trip mmg aku kena call la. siap bg phone number family sapa2 yg join the trip. bila fikir balik, mmg bahaya gak kot. aku pernah je tido dlm keta , keta rosak kat highway, kena saman, tertinggal kapal terbang, tertinggal bas, etc. tu x termasuk benda2 yg berlaku kat U tu sendiri: stuck alone in an elevator, terlanggar org naik basikal, termiss exam, diganggu oleh org mabuk, just to name a few. agaknya tu 'tulah' x cite sume kat parents kot.

haha aku pun terlupa apa point aku sebenarnya. tah, a bit guilty, knowing they are always worried about me. making them worry while i was there enjoying myself. on the other hand, xkan what i did those 4 yrs should be enough to compensate for what i could've done / experienced after that? byk lagi benda yg aku rasa aku nak buat.

ntah aa. maybe sbb dah duk serumah kot. maybe to make up for all the time i'm away fr home. dah sampai masanya utk aku risaukan pasal family aku kot. selama ni fikir psl diri sendiri je kot...

err kalau aku dah kawin nanti, boleh lagi ke nak gi rafting? hehe aku pun dah x nak kot.

haha insecure gila entry ni. whatever.

ok chiow.